Dreaded OC

Thursday, July 21, 2005

OC has attacked me today as it never attacked me before.
Yes, and it almost killed me. The attack was fatal. I have this strange urge to be irritated at anyone, anything, and anywhere! And I can’t even help it. OC, or obsessive-compulsive people get the tendency to do things they’re somewhat obsessed or something unexplainable. People like ME often list and abide by it. Listed things, when broken, freak them out.
I am an OC boy.
I hate disorganized things (even though I am a disorganized boy trying to be organized, it’s just that it makes me feel better). I list everything – to-dos, collection inventories, brands of shirts and pants that I have, a Christmas getaway in the middle of September, a spectacular summer vacation in just the start of classes. I often value the tiniest details but I missed the essential ones. Sometimes, I settle for the best I knew, but it really is the worst. I hate missing my faves – shows, food, collection, books, etc. I love collecting though my budget doesn’t really suits it. I ended up tightening my budget. If I had listed things to do, it’s a no-no to break it, lest, I end up with a bad hair day. And the worst, I often flare up with anything with an unreasonable rationale – ‘I don’t know.’ If and if I can’t sleep or can’t do anything right, I will do anything unusual like rolling about the bed, pulling out several strands of hair ‘til I feel I’d lose them, or cleaning my room with no other reason but – ‘I don’t know.’ The basis of everything I do is what I want. I never settle for the things I despise. I freak out almost everyday – like it’s my life. Normal days are boring days; extraordinary (extraterrestrial) days spells adventure.
Weird is the often description of people like me. Laymen tend to misunderstand us, and call us freaks and klutzes or sometimes people who are not really people (aliens perhaps) They just don’t know what we really are…
Now, today’s attack of the OC is really fatal. I can’t seem to get a hold of myself (not that I had cerebral palsy or something!) All day, I suffered being irritated by everything – the damn hot weather (I must’ve watched that weather channel), the mosquitoes biting (where is the repellent and the spray when you need them), the open doors, the gloomy light, my slimy glasses (should’ve replaced it), the book I can’t finish, the ants crawling into my groin part (I wonder, is it tutti-frutti scented inside there), the dumb, boring TV shows, the slouching couch, the loud music in your father’s lair, the dust everywhere, the food, the cat crawling in the dining table, the dog howling, the clothes in the clothesline… everything!
I am irritated today. Nuisance spells this day right. I am not in pain; I was pain! If this day continues forever, I’d lose my sanity and if I lose it, the world’s in grave danger of my rants. My gattling-gun-like mouth would breathe the fire of outrage and total annoyance. I would devastate all relaxing people, all siesta-loving people. I would provide daily bad hair day. I would make everyone feel how an OC feel, how I feel!
(Oh shoot! Where’s that disc I have to ‘burn’? I’m starting again.)
The fact I can write here is the only proof the attack has mellowed. The weather seems nice, the food tastes better and the clothes are spared from being burned. And I, at last, calmed down a lil’.
I hope I’m can still be rational if an attack again occurs…